These Phrases given by A Dad That Helped Me during my time as a Brand-New Father

"I think I was merely just surviving for a year."

One-time Made In Chelsea star Ryan Libbey expected to cope with the demands of being a father.

Yet the actual experience quickly proved to be "very different" to what he pictured.

Severe health problems surrounding the birth resulted in his partner Louise hospitalised. Suddenly he was forced into becoming her main carer as well as caring for their newborn son Leo.

"I took on all the nights, every nappy change… each outing. The duty of mother and father," Ryan explained.

Following eleven months he became exhausted. That was when a chat with his parent, on a public seat, that made him realise he couldn't do it alone.

The straightforward phrases "You are not in a healthy space. You need support. What can I do to assist you?" opened the door for Ryan to talk openly, seek support and find a way back.

His situation is commonplace, but rarely discussed. While society is now more accustomed to talking about the pressure on moms and about PND, not enough is spoken about the difficulties new fathers face.

Seeking help isn't a weakness to seek assistance

Ryan feels his challenges are part of a wider inability to talk between men, who still absorb negative ideas of masculinity.

Men, he says, frequently believe they must be "the harbour wall that just gets smashed and doesn't fall time and again."

"It is not a display of failure to request help. I failed to do that fast enough," he explains.

Clinical psychologist Dr Jill Domoney, a expert specialising in mental health surrounding childbirth, says men can be reluctant to accept they're struggling.

They can feel they are "not justified to be seeking help" - especially in front of a mum and baby - but she stresses their mental state is just as important to the unit.

Ryan's heart-to-heart with his dad gave him the chance to take a respite - taking a short trip overseas, separate from the domestic setting, to see things clearly.

He came to see he required a shift to focus on his and his partner's emotions as well as the logistical chores of caring for a new baby.

When he shared with Louise, he discovered he'd missed "what she was yearning" -holding her hand and listening to her.

'Parenting yourself

That epiphany has reshaped how Ryan perceives being a dad.

He's now writing Leo weekly letters about his feelings as a dad, which he aspires his son will see as he gets older.

Ryan believes these will assist his son to better grasp the expression of feelings and interpret his approach to fatherhood.

The notion of "parenting yourself" is something musician Professor Green - also known as Stephen Manderson - has also strongly identified with since becoming a dad to his son Slimane, who is now four.

During his childhood Stephen lacked stable male a father figure. Despite having an "wonderful" relationship with his dad, deep-held emotional pain caused his father had difficulty managing and was "in and out" of his life, complicating their connection.

Stephen says bottling up feelings led him to make "terrible decisions" when he was younger to alter how he was feeling, turning in substance use as escapism from the anguish.

"You gravitate to behaviours that don't help," he says. "They might briefly alter how you feel, but they will in the end exacerbate the problem."

Strategies for Managing as a First-Time Parent

• Share with someone - when you are overwhelmed, confide in a trusted person, your partner or a counsellor about your state of mind. Doing so may to reduce the stress and make you feel more supported.
• Maintain your passions - continue with the things that made you feel like you before becoming a parent. Examples include playing sport, seeing friends or playing video games.
• Don't ignore the physical health - nutritious food, staying active and where possible, getting some sleep, all contribute in how your emotional health is coping.
• Meet other parents in the same boat - listening to their stories, the challenges, and also the good ones, can help to put into perspective how you're feeling.
• Understand that requesting help does not mean you've failed - taking care of yourself is the best way you can support your household.

When his father eventually died by suicide, Stephen naturally found it hard to accept the loss, having had no contact with him for many years.

Now being a father himself, Stephen's committed not to "continue the chain" with his child and instead offer the stability and emotional support he lacked.

When his son starts to have a meltdown, for example, they try "shaking the feelings out" together - expressing the frustrations in a healthy way.

The two men Ryan and Stephen say they have become better, healthier men since they acknowledged their struggles, altered how they talk, and taught themselves to manage themselves for their kids.

"I'm better… dealing with things and dealing with things," states Stephen.

"I wrote that in a note to Leo recently," Ryan adds. "I wrote, sometimes I believe my purpose is to guide and direct you how to behave, but the truth is, it's a dialogue. I am understanding as much as you are in this journey."